Tuesday, 14 June, 2005
Need to write a report for your pointy-haired boss? Be sure to visit the Web Economy Bullshit Generator for all those cool phrases that he's expecting to see.
On a related note, I was perusing one of my many bookshelves last week when I ran across The Official Politically Correct Dictionary and Handbook. I don't know where I obtained this gem, but it's a real hoot. The book contains four sections:
- Part I: A Dictionary of Politically Correct (PC) Terms and Phrases presents the basics. Here's where you will find the definitions of new terms like "hair disadvantaged" and "heterocentrism." According to the book's user's guide, "Part I is also particularly helpful when you want to find out what oppressions you've been subjected to, and what to call the perpetrators."
- Part II: A Politically Incorrect/Politically Correct Dictionary is a thesaurus and bilingual dictionary combined. Use it to look up outmoded and offensive terms like "fat" and "prisoner," to learn the new, non-offensive terms like "possessing an alternative body image" and "client of the correctional system."
- Part III: Other Suspect Words, Concepts, and "Heroes" to Be Avoided and/or Discarded goes beyond words and covers core thoughts, customs, and beliefs that corrupted our culture. You'll learn, for example, that dating is the result of phallocentric social conditioning, the purpose of which is the continued subjugation of women in order to maintain the white male dominant culture.
- Part IV: Know Your Oppressor: A Bilingual Glossary of Bureaucratically Suitable (BS) Language is a guide to the correct-speak used by corporate, political, and military language. Acid rain is "poorly buffered precipitation," and that influence peddling is really just "using one's credibility for accomplishing an objective."
The sad part about The Handbook is that there is a reference for almost every usage described. Government, corporate, and academic leaders actually use these terms and hold the beliefs that are described in the book. It's frightening in some ways. And very funny. But it's like a book of Gary Larsen "Far Side" cartoons--best taken in small doses lest you overdose on hilarity.
The book was copyright 1992, so you might not be able to find it in stores. Surprisingly, it's still available on Amazon. But don't worry if you can't find the book. Just search Google for politically correct dictionary.